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How to Convince the World You're Right

One of the great challenges of life (and business) is convincing the world (or at least one person) that your beliefs should be valued, and more importantly, followed. Human decision making is an incredibly sophisticated process where most of the driving forces lie far below the surface, in the subconscious. As a result, changing a person's belief on a given issue takes a lot of analytical work to understand how they think if you wish to alter their thinking.

I had a great conversation with a friend recently that crystallized the process of how to change a person's beliefs. I thought it would be valuable for other business people to understand, because your ability to sell your ideas is one of the most critical skills for an entrepreneur or executive.

Fundamentally, there are two approaches:

- Take someone head on, and show them the error(s) in their logic, or,
- Slide up alongside them and gradually alter their beliefs.

Both approaches can work, but their long-term effectiveness is highly situational.  In order to decide which approach to use, you need to understand the person's given conceptions on the subject. If a person has no views on the subject, then a head on approach is best. It allows you to create a pyramid of logic.

Pyramids of Logic:
People think in pyramids. When a young boy touches a stove for the first time and gets burned, he knows that touching the stove = burn. Because kids like to experiment, eventually he touches the stove again, and this time he is not burned. He now adds a piece of knowledge that stove can burn. Eventually further experimentation teaches him that the red light means the stove is on, and that if the stove is off but was on recently it may still burn him. These latter pieces are called tertiary knowledge, and are built upon the core beliefs. They are only useful if someone has foundational knowledge.   

Humans have hundreds of thousands of these pyramids stored in our head with varying stacks of data on top of them.

When you are arguing with someone about their beliefs, it is critical to first understand if they have foundational knowledge on a topic. You cannot possibly expect to change a person's belief on a piece of tertiary logic, if the primary logic is also flawed.

If someone lacks the primary knowledge on a topic, then your best approach is to take it head on. This way you can establish the primary knowledge, and then provide them with the tertiary knowledge to form the logic pyramid.

If someone has existing beliefs though, you first need to correct the primary logic before you can expect your tertiary logic to stick.

Slide Up Along Side:
It's much easier to convince someone that you already have a relationship with.

We have all witnessed two total strangers arguing about a deep-rooted personal topic like religion, politics, or best Ben & Jerry's flavor (it's obviously cookie dough). They always make no progress, because they attack tertiary logic. They never attempt to understand what is at the core.

The best way to change a person's pre-existing beliefs is to silently disagree. Slide up along side them and run with them. Try to listen and understand what the core beliefs are, and how the whole pyramid is structured. You don't stand a chance of making a long-term impact if you don't understand the whole pyramid.

If you are attempting to change a tertiary logic issue (you are almost always arguing tertiary logic in business) then you need to modify their pyramid. You need to start by introducing compelling arguments for each primary logic belief. The Socratic method works great here. Only once you have altered the core logic, can you then introduce your tertiary logic. This is best done by way of example, and by referencing the (now shared) core logic beliefs.

Sliding up along side someone is incredibly effective, but entirely counter-intuitive. For some reason we believe that if we only dig our heels in the ground and re-state our case, the other person will be swayed. We mistakenly think we can just shout louder, be "more logical," or be more convincing. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

Taking the time to gain a deep understanding of a person's beliefs, and then gradually changing them by focusing on core beliefs, rather than the specific issue is the most effective style for altering tertiary beliefs

Just ask my mother.

February 18, 2006 in Life Wisdom | Permalink

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» How to Convince the World You're Right from Phil Gerbyshak Challenges You to Make It Great!
David Koretz, CEO of BlueTie, writes a very compelling post today called How to Convince the World You're Right. David mentions there are 2 different ways to go about convincing the world, or at least one person, that you are right about whatever you'r... [Read More]

Tracked on Feb 18, 2006 10:51:44 PM

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